"You? A hate blog? But you're always so happy..."
Miley Cyrus
This is probably going to be one of the most hardest topics I'll ever write about. Not that I actually like Miley Cyrus, it's just about trying to pick five reasons on why I hate her so much. Oh well, let's start, shall we?
I guess I'd better state that I might actually have to use actual pictures of the topic, unlike with Twilight last night.
Oh what? It's too small, you say? Oh well, it's because she's such a punchable bitch. And now, it's time for...
TOP FIVE REASONS ON WHY I HATE MILEY CYRUS
(brought to you by Pepsi)
I quite like Pepsi. But not as much as I like Coke!
I quite like Pepsi. But not as much as I like Coke!
1. She's an actor. Who works for Disney.
While I've probably watched a grand total of about 30 seconds of Hannah Montana ever since it began existing, I deem it as another corporate scam in which people (i.e. Disney and co) over-expose her continuously (whether it be on the Disney Channel, or playing "concerts") in order for the monopoly that is the Walt Disney Corporation to continue free-wheeling through the world, rolling in its own shit-caked money.
Anyway, Disneyland sucks. I went there on an exchange trip once, and spent two days there. I spent the first day on all the roller coaster rides and on the second day I sat up in my hotel room watching cartoons and ate Oreos. If there's any cookies I like, there's Oreos!
But yeah, it's overrated. Like Miley Cyrus.2. She's a terrible musician.
If you've ever tried listening to her music (shame on you if you have), it is easily the combination of Milli Vanilli and Britney Spears, divided by a car crash thrown in for good measure. This equation will help!
For those with the IQ of an eggplant, her father's Billy Ray Cyrus, who is the proud owner of one of the worst songs of all time. At least South Park tried to make it into something funny.
3. She's a whore.
One minute she's dating one of the Jonas Brothers, the next minute it's some other Canadian that I've never heard of, or it's an Australian I've never heard of. Fucking whore. And she's meant to be a role model for tweenage girls everywhere!!!!! HOW DARE SHE! I'M CALLING THE PTA ABOUT THIS!!!
And of course, there's always this. I'd post photos, but I don't think it'd be suitable content for anyone, really. Instead, here's some kittens, because kittens are much more cuter than Miley Cyrus!
Aww.4. She hates everyone who hates her.
Anybody remember this?
"In a recent radio interview, Cyrus vented her anger at her one-time "favourite" band after they allegedly turned down an invitation to meet her back stage at the Grammys. She said: 'I left 'cause I was so upset. I wasn't going to watch. Stinkin' Radiohead! I'm gonna ruin them, I'm going to tell everyone.'"
The day I saw this article, I thought it was the funniest thing since that guy who had thrown the shoe at George W. Bush. Before this incident, I thought Radiohead were the most awesome band on the planet (in terms of just not giving a fuck, that is). Afterward, my respect for them shot up greatly, because when a little brat like Miley Cyrus comes knocking on your door, expecting to "hang out" with them, what did they (they being Thom Yorke, essentially) do?
They snubbed her. This was also posted on E! Online a few days after the incident, by the band's publicist;
"When Miley grows up, she'll learn not to have such a sense of entitlement."
Thom Yorke, however, posted this on the official site for the band before shortly touring Central and South America with Kraftwerk, on March 12, 2009;
"Wish us all a safe journey if you still like us and you're not one of those people i have managed to offend by doing nothing xx"
And of course, just a few days ago, she snubbed some Australians at an airport. Which also means she's racist.
GREAT FUCKING ROLE MODEL FOR THE CHILDREN!!!!
5. Why not?
This is a pretty good question in itself; if you don't hate Miley Cyrus, why? Are you that disenchanted with your life to the point that you are actually worshipping some stupid tramp who's Disney's "number one" role model? A skank whose father, a one hit wonder country singer, has a voice that can shatter eardrums?
WHY MUST YOU TORTURE YOURSELVES.
I hope that her star burns out faster than anyone expects. Why has God taken the lives of such brilliant musicians (Jeff Buckley, George Harrison) and left us with the sludgy remains' offspring? Absolutely horrible. I'm waiting for her to slip up like John Lennon did all those years ago and compare herself to Jesus or God, whichever is bigger than her ego.
No comments:
Post a Comment